Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4



Today was my first day volunteering at Assumption Nursing Home in Cold Spring, MN. Upon arriving at the site, I was given a tour around the nursing home visiting and met several of the residents. I have chosen to volunteer within the spiritual care aspect of Assumption Home since I really wanted a chance to interact with residents and allow let God to structure the activities and conversations throughout my visits.

I was introduced to some of the residents with severe Alzheimer's disease; they both broke my heart. One lady was so kind and told me that I have a “nice face.” She would have conversations with us that did not make sense, and she would even be talking to us and answering questions when we were in the room next door talking to the other lady with Alzheimer’s. The second lady we visited started talking to us about her parents, and then she started to mumble and ask questions that did not make sense. Out of nowhere she started to cry and mumbled more words under her breath. I wanted to reach down and comfort her because my heart just broke into pieces. What was God trying to tell me through this woman that was confused and sad? Was He trying to tell me that we are children of God, even when we don’t have the words or thoughts to clearly speak what we feel inside?

The next few ladies I encountered also were experiencing a form of dementia. One of the ladies was like a child; she was so sly and very observant. I liked her witty personality. Another lady asked me about 20 times while I was there, “When will I get to go home?” I had to kindly remind her that this was her home now and that it seems like a very nice place to live. It broke my heart thinking about how many of these elderly people won’t ever return back to their homes, and thought about how distressing that must be for them. So many of the people just wanted to be home and with their families. The lady that kept asking me about her home would then ask me about her son and if he was okay. I was told by the staff that her son is in a group home and visits every Saturday. The little old lady would ask me over and over if he was satisfied at his group home. I could sense this lady’s worry for her baby and how she wanted to make sure he was happy; I imagine that she was a good mother to her son and is probably heartbroken that she cannot care for him anymore.
Finally today, I met a 96 year old woman that brought tears to my eyes. She was so beautiful and appeared pretty healthy. The first thing I said when I was told her age, “Wow! You look great!” and she responded, “Everyone says that!” I was amazed by how coherent and so healthy this lady was! She showed no sign of old age besides that she couldn’t walk and had a physical appearance of an old lady, but her mind was sharp and she was able to communicate with me well. I spent the rest of my visiting hours with this little lady; she was not having a good day and was feeling pretty sad. I think she may have been crying before I came into the room because she kept whipping her nose and eyes with the tissue in her hand. I asked her why she was so sad, but never got a clear response. I touched her hand and gave it a gentle rub; there was no need for words.

I told her she was blessed to be so healthy at such an age, and she reputed with, “I can’t walk anymore.” I kindly reminded her that she has gotten to witness all her kids growing up and that is pretty special. I told her about my grandma passing at such a young age and how she will miss the chance to be at my graduation, my wedding, and meet my future kids. The lady seemed to cheer up a bit as she recalled all the great things she has been able to do and see during her lifetime. I picked up some pictures on her dresser and asked who the people were, and she told me all about her family. I learned a lot about my little friend today, and I sense that we will share in many more conversations as I continue my service at Assumption.

Today, God spoke to me in different ways. He spoke to me through the sick, the lonely, and the dying. He showed me a kind reminder that our days on Earth are really short; that the days go fast and that while 96 may seem like a very old age, it really isn’t that old. Morning rises and dawn comes sooner than you know it; 22 years of my life have already zipped by, and I imagine that they days don’t ever slow down. Rather than wishing the days away, I am better of enjoying each breath I take, each beat of my heart, and each chance I have to worship the Lord because today is a gift that I will never have again.